Friday, November 24, 2006

We have the GO!

I haven't felt this kind of relief and weight off my heart in weeks. Geo accompanied me to my doctor's appointment last night, waiting outside while I was going to have judgement passed onto the condition of my post-scrape uterus.

My doctor, a male by the way, was the biggest sweetheart he could have been, considering how I broke down crying in his office the last time I was there, and was not to be consoled by anything he said or did. Immediately after I came in he asked about how I was feeling, how I passed the last month, if I had any physical concerns after the D&C. I asked him about the time I need to wait before we can "try again", because I do not want to wait the recommended 3 months. I told him about all the controversial opinions I have found when I did research, and how insecure I was about how to proceed. He really took his time to talk with me about this, explained how the standard response of "three months" isn't really based on any scientific/medical reasoning. and that there really is no correct answer. The only one knowing that answer is my own body, and it'll get pregnant again whenever it is ready to.

Of course there is always a risk of miscarrying again, he said, but if I will - I will, and there is nothing anybody can do about it, and it also has nothing to do with when I got pregnant again. People oftentimes blame it on getting pregnant again too early, he said, but that's usually just an attempt to find reasons and meaning behind such tragedies, that are in nobody's hands. He gave me the medical OK on going right ahead again, and the joy and excitement I felt about that, after all these weeks of sadness, hopelessness and desperation, I can barely put into words.

Of course he conducted a physical checkup as well, and confirmed that everything seems perfectly alright again. He was pleased that I got my period again within a normal time span after the scrape, and reassured me that my extreme pains that accompanied it this time where within boundaries of normalcy, after the operation, and that it should get better.

I finally asked him if he would monitor my baby more closely than usual once I come back to him with a positive test, considering my miscarriage. He smiled and explained to me that up until there is a heartbeat pretty much nothing can be done at all, and after that monthly checkups are the norm. However, if I wanted to, up until week 12, he could conduct them bi-monthly to ease my fears and insecurity. After week 12 the risk of miscarriage is considered negligible, if the pregnancy progresses normally up until then. I was very happy to hear that, to see him treat me so nicely and understanding, so I had to laugh and told him that I just had to warn him: I will probably run to the phone to call him in panic with every little twitch or cramp in my abdomen, to which he laughed heartily, saying that this would be absolutely no problem and I should go right ahead, but that there will be no need to show up at his doorstep every other day.

I love doctors with which I feel so taken care of. Most others I encountered over the years for whatever reason have the tendency of treating their patients like numbers, like items on a conveyor belt passing through their offices. There have been few exceptions, and my gyn certainly is a BIG one. I would recommend him to ANY girl out there; I've been visiting him for years already, and whatever the issue was, he's been fabulous - both on a personal level, and medical expertise as well. I just feel taken seriously by him, and - sad as this is - unfortunately this is rare with most doctors I have met before. I am really happy to have such a great doctor who will be taking care of my baby before it will be born. He's like a lotto jackpot, seriously.

Now... all we need is the baby.


Anonymous Cat said...

I'm so glad that you've found a doctor who relates to your needs, emotionally not just physically.

You've been in my thoughts often during the last week or so. It's hard to know what to say, but I check for updates in your journal all the time. I wish only the best for you, in whatever is to come.

8:13 PM  

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