Thursday, October 25, 2007

The process has begun...

Ah, yes, labor. Seems like it has finally begun for me, though not yet actively. I know this current state can possibly drag on for days - alas, let me start with today's appointment in the hospital.

It actually was quite a comfortable examination: lay on your side on this really comfortable bed with all these nice pillows for half an hour with a net around your belly and a heartrate-monitor strapped beneath it. Sleep if you want to... or read something. Hey, we could even dim the lights for you! Listen to your baby's heartbeat and relax.

I actually did fall asleep to the constant strong little thumping of my baby's heart. It was quite nice, especially getting the "everything is perfectly fine" result out of it. Some light contraction activity was monitored and recorded as well. Good!

The doctor then performed a vaginal exam. And some vaginal exam that was. She apologized beforehand... I was all like "Huh?", which then quickly turned into "OUCH!!!" as her finger went places nobody and nothing has ever gone before. What the hell was she doing??? Nothing any doctor has ever done to me before in that general area has ever actually hurt before - what was going on???

As she retrieved she smiled at me, and informed me that my cervix currently is actually dilated one whole finger's width! And not only that, she could feel the baby's head with her finger!

I wasn't sure how to react to these news - I was excited and nervous at the same time.. terrified and elated equally strong. Marveling yet again at my body and what it's doing, having great respect for the process that apparently has already started inside of me. The mucous plug, which I thought to have lost yesterday night, actually is gone completely, confirming my suspicion.

I got a new appointment for another checkup for next Tuesday - along with a wink from the doctor, and a small hint that she doesn't think it'll ever come to that.

I went home, feeling really strange. It's one thing, knowing on some rational level that yes, I am 40 weeks pregnant, yes, I will go into labor soon, yes, I will have a baby soon - but it is completely different knowing that the process has already begun - that I am already walking around with a slightly dilated cervix, that indeed I could go into labor anytime now.

As in... for reals.

Very surreal.

To add to all of this, I have been having some real contractions all throughout the day. They are coming extremely irregularly, and are spaced quite far apart, so I am not alarmed yet. I am keeping an eye on them, and I have to admit that some of them have gotten quite painful, forcing me to actively breathe through them. Yet I doubt that anything will happen tonight - I still have 2 more days to go until the due date, so maybe I'll even have a on-the-spot punctual baby?

Not sure how much posting I will get done before I will give birth. Just, whoever reads this, wish me luck that all will go well and that we'll be a little family soon! :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Pulling and cramping...

Update... well, nothing really to update, is there? 4 days to go until the estimated due date, and I am closely monitoring my body for any signs of oncoming labor. Every night I go to bed, wishing to be waken up by a gush of amniotic fluid, or some real contractions, finally.

I've been having a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, in the last couple of days they have become a lot more frequent, but not in any way serious or painful. Sleeping at night has become a thing close to impossibility: sleeping on my right doesn't bode well with Baby, who kicks me really hard into my ribs when I do so. Sleeping on my left gives me a lot of back pain for some reason - and sleeping on my back (I am usually a back-sleeper and have been throughout this pregnancy as well) is suddenly really making me feel uncomfortable, giving me a pulling sensation all over my tummy.

And then, when I finally get somewhat comfortable, I have to go to the bathroom. o_O

Last night, however, I finally did wake up twice because of a contraction - it was enough to interrupt my sleep, but not enough to keep me up. In the morning I thought it was all gone, but I have since had several more Braxton-Hicks, and a quite constant pulling sensation, not unlike what it feels like when my period is coming on. I am not sure what this is, for a contraction is supposed to have a definite beginning and a definite end, and this is just a constant feeling.

In two days I am scheduled for a checkup in the hospital in the morning, and acupuncture around noon. I will ask for a check of my cervix as well, to see if I am dilated at all yet. Of course I hope that maybe I go in for birth instead of a checkup...?

Between starting to type this entry and finishing it, I have spent a couple of hours on the couch, during which the pulling sensation has not ceased. No real contractions, though... so let's see what's up with that. Maybe I will have some news to report after next night...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Hanging in there...

I went to see little Lee yesterday in the hospital. I have to admit, she is only the second newborn I have ever actually seen face to face (- and I don't quite remember just how tiny the first one was, since I have seen her grow over the past 2 years, and my mind simply cannot reach back and make the connection to her then-size anymore when I see her run around these days), and now that I have one just like it inside my belly gearing to come out into the world, the reality of her really hit me quite hard. Her tininess. Her wrinkly teeny-weenie fingers. That unfocused newborn-look when she opened her eyes a couple of times. That incredibly cute toothless and heart-melting yawn, the little newborn noises she was making.

I was marveling at her presence, while I was thinking back on when I met A. in real life for the first time, with her medium sized bump about 30 or 31 weeks along. I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that A. and I have been chatting and talking all throughout our pregnancies, comparing pictures of our bellies, seeing which one of us was "showing" first, and swapping ultrasound pictures of little alien-looking creatures.

Now her alien-looking creature is a real human being, tiny but oh-so-very-real, sleeping in her mommy A.'s arms. What I find most incredible is that in reality, my baby currently doesn't look much different from hers - not much at all - only that it's still inside of me, while hers isn't anymore. It's something really hard to imagine, when I feel the strong and hard kicks against my ribs and watch the little bumps moving all over my belly. I rationally know that there is a perfect little human being like little Lee inside of me, but at the same time it is one of the toughest things to imagine - almost impossible. How it lays curled up and squished in there, how it really is my baby's foot that I can see moving from the outside, how it already has a distinct eye color, and hair color - how it already *IS*... without me knowing anything about it but how strongly it can kick my sides.

All throughout our pregnancies A. and I were alike, going through the same things, having an equally easy pregnancy, having similar worries and fears, the same anticipation and wonder about giving birth - and now all of a sudden she is so far ahead of me, knowing what it actually means to give birth, what it's like to nurse her baby, heck, what her little girl looks like.

I still don't even know if there will be a boy or a girl coming out of me soon...

It's the impatience that's really making this hard on me now, and I promised myself not to be impatient. I didn't think this was going to be so close to impossible.

I went to acupuncture again today in the hospital. Today I saw three girls I know from gym class and from acupuncture, wheeling around their babies on the hallway of the gyn wing of the hospital.

It was a different doctor again today doing the acupuncture, with different methods than the other two who have attended to us so far. She set the needles at different spots for each woman, depending on her current ailments and issues, unlike the other two, who have set the needles at the same spots for every woman - endorphine inducing spots, cervix-softening spots, and for those really close to her due date also labor-inducing spots. I was really hoping for the latter today, yet I only got two needles this time, for a general "harmonious" labor. I wasn't too happy, especially since those needles didn't seem to have any immediate effect at all. I wanted the big suckers into my pinky toes that would set off labor!

Ah, I think I mentioned here once or twice that I am not exactly the most patient person on earth, lol.

I wish I at least would have some kind of sign at all, that would indicate that I am nearing the end of this pregnancy, that things are at least starting to happen. Half of the time I can't even tell a practice-contraction from a particularly powerful movement of the baby, which is incredibly frustrating. I have no way of telling if my cervix is already dilated in any way... and there are no other telltale signs like a bloody show, or my dislodged mucous plug.

It's incredibly frustrating, especially when combined with the daily phone calls of: "I just wanted to know how you two are doing.", or "Hello - are you having your baby yet?"

The worst are being those who KNOW how incredibly annoying those questions are to me, yet do it anyway, because they somehow seem to think that by doing so anyway they are somehow funny, or especially witty, or original. Oh, but then I get attitude from them when I snap at them and tell them not to ask me such questions. Then it's suddenly ME who is the unfriendly one, and don't I see that they are just well-meaning and caring for me, how can I show so much attitude in return???

"Hey, everybody else I am sure is indeed annoying you - but *I* am genuinely caring! *I* am different from everybody else! Don't give *me* your attitude, save that for everybody else!"

Yes, you are different. Absolutely. And so is everybody else. *rolls eyes*

And I haven't even reached my due date yet. I don't want to know what's going to happen once I go over it - if i do - what else is there for me but to simply turn off my phone altogether?

So I go to bed every night, hoping that I would be woken up by a gush of amniotic fluid, or maybe a particularly strong contraction that is being followed by another one only a few minutes later, and then another one, and then another - but so far it's been just wishful thinking.

Yet I am so very torn between wanting to meet my baby already, and actually being glad that it's still where it is, that all those changes in life haven't happened yet, that I can still sleep whenever I want to, and can still do pretty much whatever I want to, still don't have all this responsibility over a completely helpless human being, can still enjoy the last days of this amazing pregnancy, and all the spoiling and caring that comes with it.

Maybe I need to lose these ambiguous feelings first, before my body can truly let go of this little human being?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Hello, "Lee"!

Well, A.'s little daughter "Lee" was born on October 15th, at 8:51PM, measuring in at 49 cm and weighing 3500 grams.

A. took the time and the effort to send me a MMS with a picture of her baby girl and all the relevant info only 2(!) hours after birth - making me feel extremely special and fuzzy. I most definitely plan on returning the favor, but I wonder if there won't be a thousand other things on my mind only 2 hours after giving birth?

I found that so extremely sweet of her. Tomorrow I will go visit her in the hospital after my acupuncture session - I can barely wait!

It was very surreal to receive her MMS, though. Since we've been going through our pregnancies pretty much "together" from the beginning, seeing her with her newborn in her arms was a bit of a shock - something to drive the point home. It also made me extremely envious, and horribly impatient. There are still no signs of labor going to happen anytime soon, just an occasional light pulling sensation, like menstrual cramps. Nothing even remotely painful. There are still 10 days left until the due date... but somehow I have a slight (uncomfortable) feeling that my baby will cook in there even a bit longer than that.

Any bets?

Monday, October 15, 2007

So exciting!

Oooooh... I am so excited! My new friend from my babyforum, A., who was due around the same time as I am just had her water break today - I can think of barely anything but her, and how she's going to have her little daughter in her arms soon!

It's so weird, we actually met in person only once, and then we didn't talk much, but we've been chatting and posting pretty much all throughout our pregnancies, so I feel like I know her pretty well. And now she's having her baby, and she promised me a MMS with a picture of her daughter as soon as she was able to. I am glued to my cell phone, even though I am aware that it'll be another while. The whole forum is going bonkers over her, and I have been getting severl SMS from other girls already from all over Austria, asking me to send them a message as soon as I know more about A. and her baby. I just love the community that I have created, it's an awesome bunch of girls, very caring and sweet. :)

I wish A. all the best, and all the strength she needs, and that everything goes well for her and her baby!

It puts me to think, though. Like I said before... she was originally due within days of my own due date. When will it be my turn? I have to admit, my due date is still officially 12 days away, but secretly I am hoping that I'll go into labor soon. I am getting annoyed with peoples' constant phone calls, asking me how I am doing. Sure, I appreciate the concern and the caring, but as a matter of fact I am letting the phone ring without picking up most of the time now, simply because I am sick and tired of confirming that, in fact, I haven't gone into labor yet, and yes, I feel pretty good.

As good as one can feel, 38.5 weeks pregnant, I reckon.

Sure, I am grumpy as all hell. Just really annoyed with people. It shows. I don't really want to talk with anybody (or at least not about my pregnancy anymore), and I am having a very hard time not to snap at people (- even my own family!!!) when I get another "so how are you doing today?" or "everything alright?".

I mean - geez - I will inform people of the arrival of my baby, some of them even when I go to the hospital - I don't need daily phone calls inquiring about the state of things. Nevermind the fact that I still have almost 2 weeks to go to my due date - Booger isn't even late yet, there is no reason to assume every day that I am within minutes of giving birth!

Anyway. Back to my friend A. A few days ago she has even asked if I was going to visit her in the hospital, and I felt really special when she asked. Considering that we pretty much only know each other online, and we both have bitched about the amount of people probably wanting to come visit us in the hospital, and how we don't want to be flooded with visitors? Funny, cause I want her to visit me and Booger too, once he/she is here.

I can hardly wait for her news! I will definitely put my cell phone next to me bed tonight!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Letter to Booger, 38th week

My dear Baby;

This might very well be the last letter I get to write to you while you are still residing inside of me, having your way with my inner organs. We are getting so close now - according to math we are only 16 days away of finally meeting you, but according to what normally happens, "16 days" might very well mean "next week" or "tomorrow". Pretty much any day now - just please, even though you might enjoy your current residence, don't drag this on much beyond 16 days anymore, ok?

Your Daddy and I are really anxious now to finally meet you, we have worked hard to get everything ready for your arrival - and once there is nothing left to prepare, the waiting really becomes the hardest thing. And the people around us don't make this final stage of pregnancy exactly easier, either:

I constantly have someone tell me (in good jest, of course), on which days you can, and cannot come, based on their own schedules. I know it's all in good fun, but when you hear the same joke from different people who all think they are fun and witty, it becomes quite bothersome after a while. It's the same with peoples' worries about me: the other day I didn't pick up the phone when your Auntie#K called me, and immediately she shot a text message to your Tia#R, asking if possibly I was in the hospital already. I have to admit, I actually snapped at her when I did talk to her on the phone later, telling her not to be ridiculous.

Overall, I notice that people tend to take themselves very importantly when it comes to their idea of when they should be notified of your birth, or coming to visit us in the hospital when you are finally here. Everybody wants to be the first to know, everybody wants a phone call as soon as I feel the first twinge of a contraction. Especially your Auntie#K, who will be your "godmother". This title seems to make her overestimate her level of involvement and importance a little too much for my taste - as if this would make her any more special than she already is, being my best friend and all. Being my best friend already puts her very high up on the list of notifications, elevates her from a quick mass-text message to an actual phone call, just like our family is getting, and it's not that her status as "godmother" prioritizes her in any more significant way.

Also, some people seem to think that it's okay for them to come see us in the hospital - even if I have no personal contact with these people myself: they are just friends of your grandparents. How important do they take themselves to think that I am interested in meeting them in the hospital? What makes them think they can put themselves into the very small circle of important people whom I would like to visit me there? When they aren't even someone I feel I "owe" to show you off to at all during a forced visit out of politeness?

I can tell you, if it was up to me - and unfortunately it isn't - I wouldn't want anyone but the absolutely necessary in the hospital at all, and I can narrow the absolutely necessary down to our core family. And even them I would like to hold off for as long as possible, for these first hours with you will be such a special and intimate time between you, your father, and me that I don't want to have spoiled by excited and gawking family members. They, of course, already plan to rush to the hospital the second we tell them that my labor has begun.

You'll see - they are very loving and caring people, can't hold their overeagerness against them.

As far as your and my co-existing is concerned, I can see that the time has come for us to separate soon. I see how nature has intended it, how it prepares for a mother to let go of this most intimate and intense relationship she will ever have with another human being, to mentally prepare to let lose, to actually welcome it. I am still very much enjoying this pregnancy with you - you have made it quite easy on me, and there really isn't much I can complain about. Even now, in the "dreaded" ninth month, I feel that I am probably a lot better off than many other women. Yet, still, I have never been this uncomfortable in my entire life. My back aches, which have been bothering me on and off all throughout but could usually be cured by a good night's sleep have now settled into a constant pain, and a night on my mattress doesn't improve things much at all. By nightfall, the pain is so bad, that I actually do waddle now, in the cliché position of a very pregnant woman: bent back as far as humanely possible, hand pressed against back, slowly limping about. Your Daddy's devoted back massages seem to do no good at all anymore. Also, I need to hold on to your Daddy's arm whenever I want to turn around in bed now, there is no way I can shift your weight by myself anymore, with my busted back. He sometimes also has to help me up from the couch, just from normal sitting down. I think your head is finally lodged into my pelvis now, for I have made acquaintance with a bit of rectal pressure too in the last days. Sometimes I feel like someone must have put a melon or a stone right into my pelvis, especially when walking around for a bit.

Understand, I am in no way annoyed or fed up with you being inside of me yet, as some other women tell me they are, neither am I impatient for your arrival - I am just noticing how this pregnancy seems to be getting harder on me almost by the day now. It's an interesting process to follow, but I will not make the mistake of wanting to rush things along because of it - this is one of the most special and rare times in my life, and I intend on savoring and enjoying every moment of it, the good along with the bad, until it all turns into one wonderful memory.

Well, my Baby. Nevertheless I have already packed our hospital bag with all the things I think we will need (and probably won't need at all), which is sitting next to our door, just in case you decide to come before the next 16 days are over.

All my love,

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Photo Shooting

Well, standing in front of a photographer and his lens while the entirety of your clothes are hanging over a stool in the adjacent room really wasn't as bad as I was afraid of.

Actually - it wasn't bad at all... after about a minute of feeling awkward being naked in front of strangers I really started to enjoy the experience!

Yes, today we have been scheduled for an artistic nude shooting with a professional photographer. We have decided that we really wanted to keep the memory of my pregnancy in a way that we are not able to do ourselves, and even though it was quite an expensive endeavor, it was worth every cent.

We found this particular photographer at the Baby Expo at the beginning of the year, and decided back then that if we were to take pictures of me, they would have to be by this guy. We love the way he uses shadow and light to create outlines and silhouettes, and looking at his pictures really makes you feel that sense of respect and reverence that he has for pregnant women. His photos are not vulgar or inappropriate, but respectful and bring out the beauty and special erotic of a pregnant woman in a very tasteful way. We have also looked through the portfolios of other photographers, but none really convinced us the way that this guy did.

So we made an appointment for a first meeting, during which we had a chance to see if the chemistry between us would be right, and to discuss what kind of pictures we wanted. Luckily, the chemistry was right, and we decided on a series of silhouette shots against a dark background. I didn't want any clothed pictures, and no cookie-cutter color shots with "fun" elements like baby shoes on the belly, or Geo holding a measuring tape around my girth... I wanted truly artistic and classic nude pictures. Which was very much to the liking of this photographer, we could tell.

So today was the big day, and I admit I was a bit nervous. I have been to photographers before, to take family portraits and to take passport pictures - but never had I dropped my clothes in front of one. My body image is an overall positive one, and this pregnancy hasn't changed this fact at all. Sure, I have some issues with cellulites, which I rather not have displayed anywhere, and I was extremely unsure about exposing my flabby little sac-breasts to any kind of lens, but I soon learned that even these worries were unfounded.

I was being handled by a make-up artist for about an hour, who perfectly covered up my pregnancy-related blemishes to perfection, and even made my hair look remotely good. The photographer wanted to start with me alone, so Geo was a spectator for the first part of the shooting. I walked into the studio with a robe on, and when I was asked to drop it, I did feel very awkward and vulnerable, immediately covering myself up with a large shawl that I have brought for the shooting. But like I mentioned before: this feeling didn't last, I felt treated with a lot of respect, and I felt the familiar artist's look on me, not a man's look. The photographer positioned me in several ways with the shawl draped around me differently, and I soon warmed up to being a model for an hour. I felt very comfortable with the poses he suggested, and his comments were rather reassuring, and I soon felt quite confident in front of the lens. He did several of the shawls shots, then exchanged the shawl for another transparent and shiny fabric, which produced great silhouette shots against the dark background. Eventually I was completely naked, turning this way and that, feeling very good about myself and what I was doing. Every once in a while he would come up to me and show me a particularly good shot he had just taken, and I just couldn't believe that the person I was seeing there was actually me. What I saw on the small screen of his camera was stunning, extremely beautiful... a real boost to my ego, which mostly considered myself as some kind of walrus, lately.

Eventually he added Geo to the shooting, and we did the classic 4-hands-on-belly shot, and some sitting poses, and him kneeling in front of me with his hands on my belly... and some semi-erotic ones. It was great playing model together with him, I could tell that he really enjoyed himself too.

Afterwards, I was so proud of myself that I have had the guts to do this! It was an experience that I will never forget, and most of all I appreciate how great this has made me feel about myself, about my changed body. On Monday we will meet again to select the pictures we want a copy of - I truly cannot wait to see the outcome!

I really recommend a photo shoot to all pregnant ladies out there - no matter how huge or "ugly" you may think you are. With the right photographer you will see how beautiful you really are, and will appreciate every inch of your new body - not even mentioning the everlasting memories of this very special time in your lives.

Us? Now all we need to do is to make the cast of my belly, which we will hopefully accomplish this weekend - and then, as far as I am concerned, Booger can come. :)

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Ninth Month Update

Since my last post I have gone to both my last(!) doctor's appointment and my last(!) hospital appointment. And by last(!) I mean: before giving birth.

3 1/2 weeks really doesn't sound like much, does it? Especially considering that it might not even be 3 1/2 weeks anymore, cause really, the estimated due date is just that: estimated.

And as if to really drive the point home: during my first acupuncture session I saw one of the girls from my gym class in the hospital, wheeling around her baby daughter - water broke 2 weeks early. And yesterday I saw a girl from acupuncture doing just the same - and she also had at least a couple of weeks to go.

Not that anything is pointing towards early labor with my Booger, though. Both my doctor and the doctor in the hospital confirmed that the head is still down, and everything looks very good so far. They both did a Doppler to listen to the heartbeat and to measure the blood flow through the umbilical cord, since my placenta has already started to "fossilize", as is normal at this stage of pregnancy. My cervix is still closed, and the head hasn't fully rotated into my pelvis yet, so I guess my fears of early labor are unfounded - so far. Unfortunately, in both instances I have forgotten to ask about the weight of my child, but i am estimating it at a good 3 kilos already. From my second-to-last appointment to my last I have only gained one kilo, and I simply assume that it's all baby weight, not my own. As it stands, I have gained 13 kilos total, which really isn't bad at all, I am proud of myself. :)

I haven't gotten any new pictures of the baby ever since the 3d-ultrasound, since by now Booger is so big that the regular ultrasound pictures really don't show much anymore, but I am not upset by this. Soon I will get to see him/her anyway. :)

What does upset me though is how some people around us refer to Booger as a boy already - as a definite thing. No "predictions" based on old wives' tales, or good-natured betting - but set-in-stone "knowledge". My FIL always asks about his "grandson", Tio#E refers to the baby as his "nephew"... and a few other people do the same thing. It's like the option of this baby possibly being a girl isn't even up for discussion. It's not even a remote possibility. They all know that it's a boy. Cause it just can't be any other way.

I mean, it's not like I don't want a boy... but by now I am so resentful towards this "knowledge" of my baby being one, that I want a girl - just to spite them and their "precognitions". Just so that they can't nod knowingly and self-reassuredly and say "See, I told you so."

I know the alternative would have been to just ask for the sex during a doctor's appointment and let everybody in on it, so this issue would never even come up - but we did not want that - and now I have to pay for us wanting to be surprised by dealing with such "sixth sense" people and their opinions.

After all - full of shit or not - predicting a baby's sex always gives one a 50:50 chance of being right, imagine such odds for the lotto! And to feel reaffirmed in one's "abilities" based on 50:50 odds just is a "satisfaction" I don't want to give anyone at all - yet the odds are 50:50 that this is just what will happen.

At any rate... besides these annoyances, I am feeling extremely well. I am still waiting for it to happen, what I was told would happen by everybody who has had children before: that I will feel like SHIT during the last weeks, and that being pregnant will turn into such a nuisance, and that I will just want for it to be over. I told this to my doctor too when he asked how I was feeling, and he just laughed. Really, my pregnancy has been a breeze so far. I don't know how much "worse" it can get from now on until delivery, but looking back, there really were a couple of troublesome issues:

Extreme tiredness for 3 whole months. I was afraid I would sleep through birth. This vanished as soon as I hit the fourth month though, like magic.

Constipation and extreme gassiness, which didn't pass the normal way unless with medication. At times it was so bad that I couldn't sit, or stand, or lay, and the pain was literally driving tears to my eyes. This also vanished during the second trimester.

Back pains. Oh, the back pains. This is my one true problem, but even so: ever since I sleep in our new bed on my new mattress it has really taken a turn for the better.

No pukiness, no hemorrhoids, no edemas, no skin problems... none of anything else, really. I didn't gain too much weight, my skin (so far) didn't rip and I have no stretch marks on my belly (yet). Heck, I am in my ninth month of pregnancy, and I don't even waddle around like other pregnoids do, with my hand supporting my back, bent back as far as gravity would allow me to. I walk normally and upright. I can get out of bed by myself unless my back has a really bad day, and I could have helped out during the move a lot more, would anybody have let me.

Sure, some kicks really do hurt now, cervical pressure is anything but pleasurable, perineal massage is a true bitch, and I do tire out rather easily. I sleep a lot. So what. I am 36 and a half weeks pregnant. Overall? I love being pregnant, and I will miss it. I will miss feeling my baby so privately, being so close to it, and getting all the attention and the consideration from other people. It's just great. I am not annoyed by it to the point that I am longing for birth to be rid of my baby-belly already.

Which isn't to say that I am not looking forward to the birth experience. Sure, I am nervous and a bit worried about what's ahead of me, but I am not scared at all. Just yesterday my best friend Auntie#K mentioned how calm I was about everything. I just think that if I am afraid and scared and freaking out I will just make things harder on myself and the baby. I will truly try to make this birth experience as positive and calm as possible, for I am sure it will be good for my baby too, and its first moments in this world.

Heck, I am so relaxed and chill that I haven't even started to pack my hospital bag yet! And that even though theoretically the baby could come any day, literally!

Still so much to do, though! On Thursday we have scheduled an appointment with a photographer. We want some artistic nudes of ourselves and my belly, and I am really excited about that. We also still want to make a cast of my belly, and do some body painting. Somehow the move really messed with our belly-plans, and now I feel I have to cram everything in before the big day. o_O

Ha! And we need to pick up the crib from my friend, too!

So little time now...! :)