Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Day 28

Well, what can I say. The soreness of my breast mosts likely stems from my repeated poking and prodding in an attempt to check if they feel sore at all or not.

Up until about 2 hours ago I could have still considered the possibility of fertilization having been completed this month - alas, the cramps. Oh, the cramps!

Goddamn cramps.

AF will hit me on my birthday in 2 days - I just know that it will. Happy birthday to me, no bun in the oven this time. Hey, at least I can get senselessly drunk with my friends. Not that I am the drunken party type, but considering the circumstances... and circumstances are plenty:

I will turn 28. 28! That's 30–2! I will now be a late twen, whoopty-do. Whatever happened to the last years, and why does it seem that ever since 20 every single goddamn year seems to be over faster than the one before? Next thing I know, I'll be heading towards 40(!), because 30 will be a thing of the past. And I am already dyeing my hair regularly, not out of fashion considerations, but a desperate attempt to hide my white hairs. It's called "premature greying", and it runs in the family. Google it.

I hate my job. And with my obvious lack of pregnancy, I will hate it many a month longer. Since I am too chicken shit to actually look for something better, I am pining for maternity leave, which - around here - lasts a whole 2 years at decent government pay. I am underpaid, I am unchallenged, I am bored out of my mind, I feel like poking my boss' eyes out the second he merely opens his mouth. But looking for something else would mean going through job interviews and adapting to a new asshole boss, and finding myself around new environments, and learning new tasks - when all I REALLY want is never to work for somebody else again. Yeah, that's right. I want to go on maternity leave, shove my regular (low) paycheck up my boss' ass and while I am at home with the baby work on making my very own company lucrative, while Geo works a regular 9 to 5 job somewhere. Be my own boss, work from home, yet have a steady income to support us should things not go so well with my company. Easy as pie - yet impossible, cause I am tied to this effin' office chair RIGHT NOW.

I am not pregnant. I'll take condolescene emails after I bled through my first tampon of the month, I'll keep ya updated.

Those are good enough reasons to allow my bro-in-law, Tio#E, to pour one too many drinks down my throat on Friday. I'll be having dinner with my husband and all my closest friends, and I am really looking forward to that.

Next month. Third time's a charm, right...?

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