Tuesday, February 06, 2007

no ovulation...

Well, from the looks of it I would say that I am not ovulating this month - or at least not yet. I compared my current BBT chart with others, and it most closely resembles those that show no ovulation at all.

Maybe I am just impatient and it is yet to happen, but I am already on day 18 - what are the odds?

I have found another online portal, www.wunschkinder.net, a German resource site that deals with women wanting to get pregnant, and offering nifty tools like an online BBT chart for free. Don't believe me about that non-ovulation theory? Check it out. And yes, before you feel compelled to snicker, we do have a lot of sex. I am married to a Latino. A Latino who wants to become a father. What can I say?

Usually I feel like I am the most occupied with this babymaking business - more than my husband, anyway. Sometimes it feels like he has no specific preference towards me becoming pregnant or not, but that he is gladly along for the ride... getting laid almost every day? Not a bad deal! Right on, woman! Sometimes I even feel as if he secretly hopes for a few more months of no success, so that this phase of bunny-humping will last just a little bit longer, before the hormones kick in and he runs a very realistic danger of not getting any anymore at all.

See? This is my set of mind, most of the time. But I don't mind... he's great in the sack, we have a lot of fun, and he sends reinforcements for his guys constantly - which only servers my purpose. So imagine my surprise and the surge of love with which my heart suddenly threatened to explode, when the other day - completely out of nowhere and quite unrelated to any sexual advances - Geo suddenly sighed and said: "I so want to have a baby..."

Ok. No. Up until now I was not the only one wanting this. It is understood and talked through that we both do. It's what responsible couples do. But I have never heard it from his lips like that before, and certainly never with so much love, and emotion, and most of all yearning. It was the most beautiful thing he has said in a while, and it just made me melt, and fall in love with this wonderful man even more.

There is no greater feeling than the knowledge that you and your partner are pulling on the same rope, equally strong, 100% of the time - especially when it comes to big decisions like this one. I never imagined that conscious trying to conceive would be tied in with so much love and so much "growing together" as a couple. I heard in many cases that a bit of the opposite was the case, especially when lovemaking became this annoying "chore" that stood between you and potential fertilization.

I never want it to get to this point with us, no matter how much longer it'll take us.

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